The Threes
The number three is a powerful number; by virtue of the fact that we live in a historically Judeo-Christian society, we already know of the number three through our exposure to the concept of the Trinity and the Triune Christian God. In our current, more secularized society, we encounter terms like trifecta, or colloquialisms like “Good things come in threes”. If someone is said to be especially talented in three different fields or spheres of activity, they are often referred to as a “triple threat”, a mark born more out of awe and inspiration, than of mortal fear and danger. In Hollywood and in the entertainment industry especially, a triple threat is a term usually reserved for that especially esteemed young woman who can dance, sing, and act.
Geometrically, the number three is manifested as the triangle, which has been a powerful symbol of queer sexuality reclaimed from the Nazis. Originally a mark of shame, the pink triangle has become one of the most recognizable and iconic symbols of the gay and lesbian rights movements of the 1970s and 1980s; while it is still used today, its more diverse cousin, the rainbow triangle, has become iconic in its own right as a symbol for the greater LGBTQ2IA+ community, and the shared struggles we all face as people existing outside of society’s amatonormative, cisheteronormative, and monosexual ideals towards sex and relationships.
In asexual and aromantic circles the triangle has long been a symbol of AVEN, The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, the de facto traditional community hub for most of the asexual and aromantic community online. While its significance has been somewhat displaced by the Ace and Aro flags, as well as emojis and gifs of cake and garlic bread, the history of the triangle — as a way to understand and illustrate asexuality’s relationship to allosexuality — can be said to mirror the paths to understanding that many others have taken to better accepting and embracing their ace and aro selves.
On that note, we come to one of the most feared cards of the Smith-Waite tarot: The Three of Swords. Heartbreak is one of the more commonly associated keywords with this card, usually in the context of an amatonormative or monosexually normative relationship: a break up with a partner, or infidelity on the part of a lover.
Most people focus on this card’s primary symbol: the heart pierced by the three swords (and for good reason, given its imposing presence). But many overlook or ignore the background: the clouds and the rain falling. Note how the rain isn’t absolutely drenching everything on the card; lightening up to almost no rain on bottom right-hand corner of the card, it almost looks like the rain is on the verge of stopping, the clouds lifting away. This moment of sadness, like everything else in the tarot, is not forever. This too shall pass. Something subtle to note is how two of the swords, on the left and right diagonal, are shorter than the sword in the middle. This tells us that with the sword in the middle, we are actually pushing through the deadlock of the two crossed swords (evoking the imagery of the Two of Swords). Of course, this progress is not without cost; this mental breakthrough comes with the piercing of emotions and feelings we may have held closely or dear to us. For some aces, this may be as momentous as part of the process of shedding our previously held assumptions around our asexuality, aromantic feelings, or our gender identity; or it may be a new understanding that the dissolution of a relationship was actually necessary to allow us to better understand our identity. Regardless of our situation, The Three of Swords tells us that sometimes, necessary and important new breakthroughs are possible only through pain and anguish. We often don’t see the importance of this in the moment; we can only understand these painful periods in retrospect. The only thing we can safely do, in our moments of pain, is remember that these moments are not forever; they are only passing. And regardless of our pain, there are lessons to be learned that can help us move forward.
From the mental (albeit, painful) breakthrough of the Three of Swords, we go on to the Three of Wands. Here, we are experiencing a breakthrough of a similar kind; out of the hesitation and preparation (and potential over thinking) in the Two of Wands, we are finally striking out on our journey, away from the comforts of home and onward to the challenges of the great beyond. With the third wand behind us, it serves as a barrier or deterrent that prevents us from going back, but it also provides us with a strong protective support should we lose our footing; the card literally has our back. There is an excitement here, that comes with pushing forward into new and uncharted territory; like with the Two of Wands, this new territory need not be one of physical space, but social space (branching out into new social groups), or artistic space (branching out into new forms of self-expression). For ace and aro people, this card is a potent reminder that pushing forward is an important part of growing and developing out understanding of ourselves.
While the Three of Swords and the Three of Wands have dealt heavily with growth, the Three of Pentacles and the Three of Cups speak to another key concept of the number three in the Smith-Waite tarot: groups and community. The term “groups” can be applied to not just working groups in the professional or academic sphere, but actual flesh-and-blood family, found family, friends, or relationship partners.
The Three of Pentacles is often portrayed as the card of collaboration and teamwork; a craftsman, nobleman and priest together consult with each other about a large construction (usually assumed to be a cathedral: a massive undertaking requiring the collaboration and coordination of thousands of skilled workers). For ace and aro people, this would be an excellent reference to activist community building, be it online or offline. This might take the form of coordinating a local community discussion event to boost ace and aro visibility in the local community, or helping out online with events during Pride Month, or contributing to other ace and aro-specific events like International Asexuality Day (April 6), Asexuality Visiblity Week (October 24–30), or Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (February 17–23).
And speaking of Pride, and special ace and aro events, we have the Three of Cups inviting us to join in the celebration. Unlike many other cards in the tarot, there really isn’t much else to this card apart from what you see: a time for joy and celebration. In much the same way as The Sun, the Three of Cups tells us that it’s totally okay — perhaps, depending on your mental and emotional situation, necessary — to simply just kick our feet up and relax. To allow ourselves the time and space to celebrate our accomplishments, be it a successful ace discussion session on Zoom, or a blog post we’ve finished on our experiences as an aromantic or asexual. On a more spiritual level, some have interpreted the three women dancing and raising their cups in this card to be none other than the woman from Strength, the red robed, scales-wielding woman from Justice, and the Empress. Under this interpretation, this card is a symbol of how, at least at this moment in time, the universe has gone the way it should have, and justice, life, and fortitude have come together for the common good. Another interpretation says that the three women are a symbol of the mind, the body, and the spirit, and their celebration marks a time of happiness, where all components of the self are running together, all at the same page.
The threes of the tarot, then, all point to growth and expansion: The expansion of one’s mental and creative spheres, and growth in one’s own social happiness. Just as how the pink triangle evolved into the rainbow triangle, and for ace and aro folks, into the ace and aro pride triangles respectively, the number three invites us to explore how we change our and grow our mindsets, and our communities.
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