The Moon
After our bath in starlight, we come to another very symbolic scene. What first comes out at us is that this is the first card we meet in the Major Arcana that doesn’t feature human figures, or at least, people.
Instead, what we get are three animals, and a humanoid face looking out at us in the moon, exaggerated in both size and proportions. The scene is sandwiched in between two imposing towers guarding a mountain path. It’s a scene that again, like The Star, both invites and defies surface readings and interpretations.
Historically, the moon has been associated with illusion, hidden and inner knowledge, and femininity. Going back to the feminine energy of the High Priestess, the moon is culturally linked to women’s menstruation cycles, and the rising and falling of tidal cycles, cycles which are of key importance to communities reliant on the ocean for subsistence. Even in this there is an element of illusion and concealment; there is something almost otherworldly about something as powerful as the ocean pulling back and retreating, revealing things not seen in the typical, normal, conscious light of day.
From a more astronomical perspective, a common misconception about the moon is that it is the source of its own glowing light, when it is in fact merely reflecting the sun’s own light onto the earth; the moon’s cycles merely reflect how the positioning of the side of the moon facing the earth changes as it orbits the earth, as the earth and moon itself circle the sun. Of course, as observers from earth, we see this as the moon phasing in and out of existence before our eyes. There is also the so-called Dark Side of the Moon, the part of the moon that, due to tidal locking, is actually not visible to the earth — despite it being fairly well explored by space probes, it still retains an air of mystery and enigma.
The lunar maria as they are scientifically known, are the distinctive flat, darker grey areas on the moon that we commonly see as we cast our eyes upon it on a clear night. Originally believed to be large bodies of water, they were traditionally called “seas”. but in reality, they are features stemming from ancient lunar volcanic patterns. These seas are also the features of the moon that have also traditionally given rise to several cultural legends of the Man in the Moon, a product of our human brain’s uncanny tendency to see faces in inanimate objects (called face pareidolia — a common quirk of human visual perception that was itself once to thought to be a common symptom of psychosis).
The point of all of these examples is to underscore the theme of illusions in The Moon. But of course we also have to talk about our animal friends back on earth.
From our discussions of The Star and Temperance, we can associate the water of the ocean seen here as a symbol for the unconscious; the crustacean crawling out of it is often generally taken to be a symbol of our “primitive” selves (or the unconscious itself), unfolding and coming out of the hidden depths of the unconscious and up into the light. One interpretation that both intrigues and resonates with me is the idea that the crayfish is our primitive self, armoured in a protective shell, emerging to deliver an important warning to us. Unfortunately, that warning may fall on deaf ears; the only ones around to receive it are the dog and the wolf, both howling at the man in the moon.
To go further into pseudo-psychoanalyzing this card, the dog and the wolf are sometimes taken to represent what’s usually seen as the dualistic nature of humankind; the idea that there is the more “domesticated” or “civilized” side to people, versus a more primal, animalistic or potentially savage side (“Lord of the Flies” is one book coming to mind at this moment for me).
Mary K. Greer however adds that this image, derived directly from the classic Tarot de Marseilles, likely refers to the French idiom, “Entre chien et loup”, or “Between a dog and a wolf”, referring the hours at dusk where the light of day has grown so dim that it makes it hard to tell the difference between, well, a dog and a wolf.
Or, the difference between what’s real and what isn’t.
“Am I ace enough?”
“Am I queer enough?”
These two questions are ones that I see surface so often in the stories of those coming into their ace and/or aro identities, that it could almost be considered de rigeur for a newly minted queer person on the asexual or aromantic spectrum to grapple with whether or not they are truly “enough” to identify as queer, or even as ace or aro. Do I have a right to lay a claim to being in a queer space, to access queer resources, or to be a part of an asexual community group, or speak with any sense of authority on being ace or aro? In my experience, this also comes with the fear of grievously transgressing some hidden boundary of queerness, of being an intruder into a closed space in which we have no chance of ever belonging.
As I edit and revise this piece, it is the start of Asexual Awareness Week 2022, now more commonly known as Ace Week: A time for aces, aros and their allies and loved ones to share their experiences with asexuality and aromanticism. In my experience, so many people have — or are still grappling with — questions of doubt and uncertainty about being “ace enough”, or “queer enough”, as we engage in what seems like a never ending interrogative dialogue on whether or not ace and aro people should be considered part of the LGBTQ+ umbrella…and drilling down deeper, if people who exhibit a level of sexual or romantic attraction to others above 0.00% even deserve to be a part of the Asexual or Aromantic Community. Everyone’s written pages and pages of their thoughts on this, it seems, strewn all about Blogger, Medium, Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. I know I’ve certainly contributed a few pages to the pile.
What really makes these kinds of metaphysical and existential questions so devious is how easily they lock someone into a endlessly repeating, energy-draining loop of self-validation followed by epistomological gaslighting; something especially true for ace and aro people who largely identify as heteroromantic and cis, as well as aspec/arospec folx like Demisexuals and Demiromantics who get an inordinate amount of flack on social media for being perceived as being too uncomfortably close to cisgendered, heterosexual allosexuals for some. (Regardless of how they actually feel in terms of their relationship to their sexuality.) What at first may begin as a bold assertion of someone’s new found sexual identity as queer or asexual may end up spiralling into a chorus of people repeating the question, “But how do you know?”
It leads to gatekeeping, and out of that gatekeeping comes a weakening of the community, both politically and socially. It leads to whole groups of queer people who are doubly oppressed and discriminated against: first, from cisheteronormative culture and society, and second, from the very same queer or ace/aro community that they had been led to believe would provide them with safe harbour.
The Moon warns us of the folly of chasing after such questions like, “Am I ace enough?” or “Am I queer enough?” when we are in a vulnerable state, low or lacking in confidence in ourselves. At these points, it is easy to accept at face value the arguments of those who want to say that your “identity” doesn’t really exist (Whether it be “Gold Star Asexuals” erasing Demisexuality, or amatonormative queer people ersasing Asexuals.) In other words, it is easy to buy into the illusion pushed on you both others that you do not belong and that your identity is non-existent.
This is also acutely true for aces and aros whose lived experience intersects with other identities who don’t neatly fit into a monosexual/monogender Lesbian-Gay binary: Trans, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Non-Binary and Gender Non-Conforming people. The experience of tranphobia, bi/panphobia, and enbyphobia can easily topple people deep into an ocean of thoughts, immersing them in the idea that their life and experience is just an illusion.
But that’s really all those hateful voices are: an illusion. Your identity and sexuality are real, but your doubts and fears, while valid, are likely not as tangible as you might first be led to be believe. A lot of them may actually be a mirage: things that vanish into nothingness when you try to sense them. To resist the urge to believe that all is an illusion, and nothing is real, we have to go back to we can unambiguously say is real: Our lived experiences in our relationships, our lived experience with our emotions and our capacity for sexual attraction, and our lived experience with our emotions and our capacity for romantic attraction. All of these are real…as real as the people in our community, and as real as all of the others, family, friends and loved ones alike, that played a part in our journey to discovering our asexuality.
It’s no coincidence that this message could also be easily applied to the situations of our friends in the Trans, Bi, Pan, and Non-Binary communities; The Moon’s reference to illusions and liminal spaces makes it a very relevant card not just for for ace and aro people, but for those communities as well. Like ace and aro people, Trans, Bi, Pan, and Non-Binary people exist in a space well outside of the monosexual and amatonormative space inhabited by the rest of society (and indeed, by the rest of the queer community as well), which refuses to be categorized in conventionally binary terms. Because they are seen to pose a source of confusion, or even threat to the safety of sexual binaries and monosexism, the impulse is to call into question the very existence of these sexual identities. We see this in action happening right now — in the UK, there is a concerted effort to erase Trans people and Trans identities.
Meanwhile on social media, people continue to rehash and reheat the same tired line that cisgendered bisexuals or pansexuals who are in straight-passing heterosexual relationships somehow magically become straight (and that they only qualifier for queerness is same-sex sexual attraction or activity). This is all happening alongside the very real hostility and misunderstanding that usually meets publicly out acespec and arospec people, as well as Non-Binary people.
Again, the Moon warns us of such people and intentions. While the gaslighting and erasure they wish to enact upon ace and aro folx is all too real, the unsureness and doubt that they are trying to sow in your mind is not. Don’t be fooled. Trust your deeper instincts to truly know what is real and what is not, especially when it comes to something so core to who and what you are. It is the ultimate act of defiance and self-empowerment for us to take charge of our own identities and define ourselves — especially in the face of others seeking power over us by appointing themselves the final arbiters of who we are.
We may gaze in the sky and think we’re seeing the man in the moon looking down on us, but with two feet planted firmly on the earth we are reminded that the truth of our experience gloriously transcends all of the hateful and exclusionary messages that we endure.
Previous: The Star
Next: The Sun
